1And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.Long before Bill Maher, we had the original New Rules, and this installment includes man getting to eat all the other animals, except for ones that are still alive. Mmm terrier!
2And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.
3Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
4But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.
5And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.
6Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.
7And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.
8And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,
9And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;
10And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.
11And I will establish my covenant with you, neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.
12And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:
13I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.
14And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:
15And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.
16And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.
17And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.
18And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
19These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
20And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
24And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
28And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
29And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
And all the animals are afraid of us. I guess it's time to take bears off the Threatdown, lose the shark repellent, and unplug the Mosquito Magnet.
Another cool rule is that God requires our blood. The context is a little jumbled, as it segues into eye-for-an-eye type stuff about killing, but it sounds like he requires our blood on general principles. Creepy that.
But there's more to our skies than blood-red, as God promises us rainbows. I do hope that Lisa Frank does a Genesis book. What could be cuter than seeing Noah and his family, sitting under a rainbow and eating a unicorn?
Once again, God swears off killing everybody in a flood. Nice to be reassured.
It seems that God repeats himself a lot. Doesn't seem necessary. When Yahweh talks, E.F. Hutton and everybody else is likely to listen.
And one thing he repeats is that Noah and sons should be fruitful and multiply.
While 600-something Noah stays home and plants seeds, his sons set about "overspreading" the earth with their seed. Could be their wives were somehow involved in the multiplying, but heaven forfend that those labor-pain-deserving bitches get a mention.
Gen 9 wraps with an odd little tale of a bare-assed Noah drinking himself into a stupor, and then freaking out when his sons cover him up.
Noah does the reasonable thing: he banishes the son who found him that way to be a slave to the brothers — one of whom he exhorts God to "enlarge" (I don't want to know) — who covered him up.
3 comments:
I've always thought there was more to this story than Ham just getting mooned by his old man. What modern day son hasn't seen his old man naked at one time or another; perhaps, to share a bathroom on a busy morning? What young adolescent boy hasn't wanted to catch a peek at his old man's tackle to compare it with his own?
Then the scripture states when Abram awoke he knew what Ham had done to him. (???) Done to him? It implies Ham did something more than just checkout his old man's tackle.
If not, why is the scripture so unnecessarily vague? Perhaps, to avoid the love that dare not speak its name? (Then, too, we have no idea how much of the original text was added, deleted, or changed over the centuries.)
Was this a case of father/son incest? Was Ham one of the earliest cases of bi-sexuality or a confused closet case? As so many unfulfilled male youths who have dominant fathers who show them little physical affection, did Ham see an opportunity to take a little love'n from his old man? Or worse, perhaps Ham took advantage and sodomized his dad? Of course, that would be rape. A Bozo no-no even by today's more liberal standards.
It would certainly better explain Abram's wrath in condemning Ham and his innocent grandson into slavery for life. And, don't EVEN get me started on the story of the prodigal son.
Thanks for the great site. It's unique and inventive.
Sorry, I had Abram on the brain. Ham was Noah's son, and "Joan of Arc" was his wife. Giggle.
The phrase "uncover the nakedness of" is used in Leviticus to refer to things you shouldnt do with your mother, father, aunt, daughter, etc., and clearly refers to sexual contact there.
Unbelievably, even ancient Jewish writers, in the Talmud (the compilation of Jewish "Oral Law"), thought that Ham had raped Noah. The only other alternative suggested was that Ham had castrated Noah, which isn't exactly better.
The story is to justify a curse against Canaan, and the enslavement/detrimental treatment of the Canaanites. Its quite racist really; and has been used by american racist groups to try to justify racism.
Post a Comment